One of the most frequently asked questions on @karolinasfairytale is: “how to find true love?, and “How to build and keep a long lasting happy relationship or marriage?
As many of you know, I managed to build an example family, filled with happiness and love. I met my husband 7 years ago and I must admit it’s s a true fairytale. Even after all these years, we deeply love and respect each other.
When I was young, I obviously had dreams of a perfect family, but I didn’t know when and if it would ever happen. I never chased men or relationships. My personality can be seen as selfish, but in a good way. Selfishness doesn’t have to mean self-centered, narcissistic, and getting yours at others’ expense. Instead, self-ishness can mean loving yourself enough to be a complete adult. When a person is self-ish in the positive sense, their self-esteem is high, they function well in the social world, they manage their responsibilities and they are sufficiently emotionally stable to be a loving and generous partner.
How to be self-ish enough to find a lasting romance:
- Remind yourself that you are lovable.
- Respect yourself enough to expect others to treat you with respect.
- Work on any feelings of insecurity you may have.
- Love yourself enough to take care of yourself and to present yourself well.
In order to be happy in a relationship, we must be happy first. That is, in fact, the key to a successful relationship.
Independence is very important. I, always and in any situation, maintain my independent sense of self. From my practice, as soon as the other half feels that you are dependent of them, it weakens the relationship for both and reduces the ability to more forward. Long story short, even if you are dependent from someone, emotionally, financially or in any other way, never show it and keep it for yourself.
Talk, talk, talk!
Many people would advise you to the a secret for the other half. I think, this topic is very misunderstood. Communication is the basis of the relationship and to have good basis, I believe it’s best to be transparent and open up to each other. That’s when you both become a team and you know what you are getting into without having to discover skeletons in each other closets and getting hurt by it. My husband knows everything about me, this way he knows how to behave and what not to do, in order to avoid me feeling sad or insecure. The same thing from my side, I learned how to communicate and how to support him in the moment when it’s needed. My suggestion : Listen to each other and talk.
Establish a love language between you two. We all have busy lives and many responsibilities, often becoming distracted and distant from each other. In our case we communicate with our eyes. Doesn’t matter where we are, if it’s in a business meeting or in a grocery shop, we speak with our eyes, expressing our attraction, care and pride about each other. You often most likely have notices the way how my husband looks at me, this shows his deep love and care towards me and its mesmerising!
Romance, dates and appreciation.
I love romantic acts, it’s like a proof of our love every moment it happens. Question is: How to encourage these romantic acts? Women often expect romantic acts from the side of the men, but not all the men understand or feel necessity of doing anything. Don’t moan around, saying that you want romantic moment. Do something about it. In order to motivate my husband for romantic acts, I do something romantic for him. For example, preparing and intimate surprise full of candles and rose petals, or while preparing his dinner, I make a hear shape our of rice, or I just come to him unexpectedly, look him in the eyes, kiss him and tell him “I love you.” This way he always feels that he needs to answer back and make his move and he knows how make a woman happy. Over 7 years, there have not been a day without “I love you”. Get used to show appreciation to one each other never forget the three magic words.
I really hope this article was helpful and interesting. Feel free to leave a comment down below or if you have any questions.